Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
if i died would you start the facebook group?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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