my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
