don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
