But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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