I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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