I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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