Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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