wrigley field is MILF paradise
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
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