felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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