i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
