so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
