I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
