He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
