And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
