You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Randomize
