her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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