hotel room ftw
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
