in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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