the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Randomize
