i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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