so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Randomize
