do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
