she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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