The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I think your dad took our porno
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
