i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
