Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
