You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
