The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
