He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
