ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
