I just made out with a guy for $7.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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