5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
