So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
