There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
