epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
