Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
A+ Viking dick
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
