i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
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