You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
stop calling my apartment porn island.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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