I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
