he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
