Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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