I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
