you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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