There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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