My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
