THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
