So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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