I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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