i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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