my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
